I really resent my mother for smoking for 12-13 years. I think she was really pathetic to let smoking take over her life. I will not do that shit. I think smoking is something to be frowned on because just like drugs you are hurting yourself and you let it keep happening like no ones business. I balance that shit. I’ve had two cigars from january-april and I have not felt guility about it at all. When I am at those rare instances when I am falling on my shit and I absolutely need to calm down I will have a tiny weeny bottle of something or smoke one cigar sometimes. I don’t rely on that and never will. And that is so fucking rare when I have a sip or take one down because I absolutely prioritize in what I believe is right. And I will never understand how people can get so caught up in drugs or booze when it is obviously bad for you and my respect will go way wayyy down if you let yourself led a fucked up life because of it. But if you are gonna assume that I am this crazy party girl then that pisses me the hell off because I have not been to one single party at my college at my whole first year and frankly I hardly ever do jack shit when it comes to drinking and smoking. College isn’t really my scene party wise and letting an inanimate chemicals take over my life is something I have been so cautious about and I appreciate when people don’t assume because then I lose someone for a year because they have put me on a pedestal and that is just a really childish thing to do because I can’t get that time back with her.
You are now listening to music from that sidebar on the left that is my temporary mood which I attempt to express through music. Also understand that each post on my blog has a title on it. Those titles are clickable links that need to be listened to simultaneously as you read my posts. (I suggest opening a new tab in your browser while reading.) You can have more of a mood I was in while writing it and dealing with the events in that time frame.