I really resent my mother for smoking for 12-13 years. I think she was really pathetic to let smoking take over her life. I will not do that shit. I think smoking is something to be frowned on because just like drugs you are hurting yourself and you let it keep happening like no ones business. I balance that shit. I’ve had two cigars from january-april and I have not felt guility about it at all. When I am at those rare instances when I am falling on my shit and I absolutely need to calm down I will have a tiny weeny bottle of something or smoke one cigar sometimes. I don’t rely on that and never will. And that is so fucking rare when I have a sip or take one down because I absolutely prioritize in what I believe is right. And I will never understand how people can get so caught up in drugs or booze when it is obviously bad for you and my respect will go way wayyy down if you let yourself led a fucked up life because of it. But if you are gonna assume that I am this crazy party girl then that pisses me the hell off because I have not been to one single party at my college at my whole first year and frankly I hardly ever do jack shit when it comes to drinking and smoking. College isn’t really my scene party wise and letting an inanimate chemicals take over my life is something I have been so cautious about and I appreciate when people don’t assume because then I lose someone for a year because they have put me on a pedestal and that is just a really childish thing to do because I can’t get that time back with her.
"I love him because he makes me feel like we are on an endless honeymoon together. Like our love could never go bland."
Dear Anyone (for Brenna),
If you see me in passing you see the bitch I try to be. If you see me in class you’ll see that I work hard and I don’t take shit from anyone. If you know me as a friend at all you know that I love to laugh and have a good time. If you see me play music, you see who I want to become.
And if you know who I want to become, you’ll know I try so hard to do good, I just get knocked around along the way.
Don’t be the asshole that pushes me down.